Stages in a Relationship

Stages in a Relationship

(in connection with the release of Testing Their Love from Black Velvet Seductions Publishing)


All relationships go through stages, face challenges, experience times of joy and times of stress. None of the stages last forever, but it can be a struggle to remain committed and determined to stay together. Here are some of the possible stages a couple may go through:


First Stage: Blind Bliss

  • Head over heels in love
  • Partners believe they have so much in common, that they are completely in sync with one another
  • Annoyances that pop up are ignored or dismissed
  • Partners feel good in each other’s presence, depressed when they are apart


Second Stage: Awakening

  • Reality sets in and the love blinders come off
  • Partners still have many common interests, but they now begin to see differences in connection with those interests
  • Annoyances start bothering each partner
  • There are life-altering decisions to make that the partners have differing opinions on: having children, where to live, who works/who doesn’t, who pays the bills, getting along with in-laws, who will do the cooking
  • Partners begin feeling disillusioned and wonder if they made a mistake


Third Stage: Imperfections Abound

  • Instead of blind bliss about the other partner’s perfection, now each partner sees things more in your way (wrong way) vs. my way (right way)
  • Struggles begin because of stubbornness, spitefulness, or a need for control and lead to frustration, anger, and hurt
  • Partners begin to believe that if the other partner would change, then the relationship will work
  • Unhappy partners begin to consider giving up, divorcing or resigning themselves to their differences and leading separate lives


Fourth Stage: Acceptance Begins

  • Partners begin to realize that attempts at reasoning, begging, nagging, yelling, and threatening are not going to make the other partner change
  • Partners possibly experience a new determination to save the relationship by seeking outside help
  • Partners start to understand that neither partner will ever be perfect
  • Partners begin showing more compassion, forgiveness, and understanding to each other
  • Disagreements are fewer and less emotional, not as intense
  • Each partner makes conscience efforts not to push the other partner’s buttons


Fifth Stage: Not Bliss, But Peace

  • Partners realize that they have always loved each other and now see again how much they like each other as well
  • Partners feel connected again, having weathered the ups and downs of the earlier stages in the relationship
  • Each partner appreciates how the other one remained committed to making it through the struggles in order to reach this point
  • Each partner now feels more secure about themselves and now is more comfortable with the differences between them


Helpful Source:


Testing Their Love is a story of a married couple experiencing many of the issues in the third stage discussed above. They are struggling to make their way through the problems that have crept into their lives. But there is never a real question about whether or not they love one another. It is  more the beginning of shifting into the fourth stage of a relationship where they now “see” the problems and are determined to find a way to strengthen their relationship and accept one another for who they really are.



BLURB: Testing Their Love

Grayson and Belinda Jo have a good marriage except that Grayson’s expectations for her are in conflict with her own need for fulfillment. Grayson wants her to sit on the boards of a half dozen charities. BJ wants to teach exercise classes for the elderly.

When a serious exercise related injury leads Grayson to insist she give up her job as a personal trainer, BJ begins to compensate for the frustration, anger, and tension she feels by joining the Y and exercising on the sly. Even as she’s held captive by the need to exercise more and more to deal with the increasing tension she feels in her marriage, BJ knows there will be a day of reckoning. What she doesn’t know is how he will react when she tells him she intends to resign from the boards he wants her to sit on.


Title:  Testing Their Love

Author:  Starla Kaye

Genre:  Contemporary romance

Length:  111 KB

Publisher:  Black Velvet Seductions Publishing

Release Date:  April 23, 2012


Buy Link: Amazon



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